I've always said to myself "If a guy can't make the first move then he's not man enough for me".

So after months (8 to be exact) of crossing paths with a man I fell hopelessly in love with, and without him making a move but showing mucho interest, I made the first move. Which took every ounce of courage this woman has. And looking over my shoulder every second to see who might be watching, I might add. I left my phone number stuck in the drivers side window of his truck. After driving by his truck about 3 times (to build up my courage) after spotting it in a parking lot next to a very popular restaurant. An extremely bold move for me. If a man wants me he has to pursue me. That's all there is to it. Not too much to ask I don't think. I like being pursued. It's very flattering and ego building. Maybe I'm old fashioned. So for me to make the first move is totally out of character for me. But, I'm finding that surprising myself by doing something out of character for me is a very satisfying feeling.

So he called me - like as soon as he found my number. And asked me out for a drink. The timing wasn't good for that so I invited him to my house. He came over. We got along great. Our personalities clicked. He was good with my son. We drank, we talked, we kissed, clothes were rearranged, there was fondling. We kissed some more. We talked some more. I felt like we had been together forever. He had to leave - work tomorrow. I don't know how much he had to drink before he got to my house but he made some very STRONG rum & pepsi's here. I offered to make him coffee before he left. I told him to call me when he got home. Two hours later - no call. It's only a 20 minute drive from my house to where he was living at the time. So I called his cell (thank you caller id), no answer, left a msg. He calls, tells me he just got out of jail. He got pulled over for DUI. SHIT!!!!! We talk a little. I tell him to call me.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink................He never called me. I should have taken his keys away from him that night so he couldn't drive. He didn't seem that drunk. No slurring of words. I've seen him only twice (passing on the highway) since the above happened. I don't know if he saw me or not - his windows are tinted dark. And they were up so he must have had the AC on. I'm heartbroken. We were so compatible. We were attracted to each other. He met all my criteria. I don't get it. Is he embarassed about what happened after he left my house? I don't care about what happened. We had so much fun together, we were so comfortable together. In the 4 years since I moved to this island he is the only man I've been attracted to. And he's probably leaving soon. He only came here to work on a project. When the project is done he'll be off to the next project, where ever that may be.

So I guess he's not man enough for me. If he doesn't feel comfortable enough with me to call me after what happened then it's time for me to move on.

Like I said, I'm heartbroken...........